I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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