I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sext me about skeletons
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize