JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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