Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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