It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bring me that man meat
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
