We're like a lot better than the average bears
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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