Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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