Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
