I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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