R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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