Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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