I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
