My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize