So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
