Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
