I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
