imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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