dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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