Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
