I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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