Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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