come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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