i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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