I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
