You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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