I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
