I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
