yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
