you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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