Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I AM VODKA MAN
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
