Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
