so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
