Sry I called you an 8
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
