i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everyone says I win the strip club
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
