Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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