my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dear god my vagina.
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