i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
