Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
