I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
