I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
