Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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