I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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