You work out of a Hotel?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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