Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
