Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I can't believe he cheated

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

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(860): I can't believe he cheated (1-860): Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how http://tfl.nu/8j5c

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina

(804): View more from Virginia

not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote

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(401): she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina (804): not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote http://tfl.nu/mq8t

Replies (33) Good night (939) Bad night (4036)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

did you know it's going to storm tonight?

(630): View more from Illinois

You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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(630): Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister? (1-630): did you know it's going to storm tonight? (630): You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser. http://tfl.nu/f4jc

Replies (15) Good night (3593) Bad night (791)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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(703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa

Replies (23) Good night (4334) Bad night (1214)
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(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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(310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk

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(404): View more from Georgia

The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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(404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb

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(631): View more from New York

I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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(631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5

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(636): View more from Missouri

He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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(636): He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us. http://tfl.nu/lk9h

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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(403): Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out. http://tfl.nu/zi3g

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(517): View more from Michigan

i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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(517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg

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(541): View more from Oregon

When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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(541): When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party? http://tfl.nu/4whz

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(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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(775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp

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(703): View more from Virginia

HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.

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(703): HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER. http://tfl.nu/g3ji

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(208): View more from Idaho

Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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(208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc

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(831): View more from California

Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it

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(831): Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it http://tfl.nu/5vlz

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