You smell like stripper and shame
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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