goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So many bounce houses so little time
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
