Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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