my mouth tastes like poor choices
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
how drunk are you?
Several
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
