I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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