worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
