Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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