is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did we just second hand smoke crack?