let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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