his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
