he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
