I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
