lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
