Kiss
Puke
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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