Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
