Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
