Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
