My room smells like vodka and shame
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
