I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
